Secular Daily Reflection Book Previewed at SOS Conference
Liz Purcell, longtime SOS sobrietist and author was set to present portions of her new book Seeds of Sobriety at the SOS International Conference 2000, but she had to cancel at the last minute due to an airline glitch!
Fortunately, we had inserted selected chapters from her new book into every conference registration packet. A note from Liz and sample chapters follow.
Hi! My name is Liz Purcell and I am an alcoholic. I have been clean and sober for a little over eighteen years now. I originally got sober in AA and have been a member of SOS for the past eight years. For almost the past eight years I have also been writing a secular daily reflection book for alcoholics and addicts called
Seeds of Sobriety. To my knowledge it is the only strictly secular daily reflection book for alcoholics and addicts to date. The book is almost complete and will hopefully be accepted for publication and available for sale by Spring 2001. Enclosed are a few sample pages. If you have any comments or suggestions, you may write me at: 120 North Main St. #117, Canandaigua, NY 14424.
JANUARY 1
SOBRIETY PRIORITY
Like most good ideas, the sobriety priority is a simple concept. Looking back over my record, I've come to accept the fact that once I start drinking or using, I usually can't stop until I pass out, run out of booze or drugs, throw up or get locked up. Thus, for me, total abstinence is essential. It is and must forever remain the number one priority in my life, above all else.
I might desire to improve other areas of my life as well. Staying clean and sober gives me a much better chance, though no guarantee, of being able to do so. But no matter what I'm currently thinking, feeling or experiencing, drinking or using would only make things worse.
I'm committed to staying clean and sober for the rest of my life. I fulfill that commitment one day at a time. Each day I remind myself that I am an alcoholic. Each day I make a resolution not to drink or use, no matter what.
* * * * * *
Suggestion: Each day when you first get up, write in a notebook or tell yourself as you look into a mirror the following.
My name is ______________ and I am an ____________. I do not drink or use no matter what. I prioritize my sobriety above all else.
JANUARY 9
REINFORCEMENT
Whenever your sobriety priority is feeling rather shaky, it's time to call in the troops! Here's what you can do:
— Attend more alcoholic/addict mutual empowerment meetings.
— Volunteer to open up, set up, chair, speak at, purchase supplies for, advertise, clean up after, or greet newcomers and visitors to a particular meeting.
— Take special care to avoid drinking/using situations.
— If you're really shaky or battling strong cravings, consider checking yourself into a hospital detox or rehab program.
For more tips on how to reinforce your sobriety priority, see March 9, May 8, July 26, September. 24 and November 27.
My name is ______________ and I am an ____________. I do not drink or use no matter what. I prioritize my sobriety above all else.
JANUARY 12
ABUSE
Drinking/using caused many of us to become verbally or physically abusive when we normally wouldn't have. In others of us, it merely aggravated a pre-existing tendency toward physical violence. Drinking/using also made us more likely to tolerate being abused by others.
But even in sobriety, we may find ourselves in abusive situations. Perhaps, out of a sense of guilt, we're letting ourselves be physically or emotionally abused by the very same people who once put up with our drinking/using. Understandably they're angry at us for many of things that we said and did while under the influence. That's okay. But it's not okay for them to express that anger in an abusive manner.
Or perhaps we stay in an abusive situation due to low self-esteem. We take the other person's treating us badly as proof that there is something wrong with us. So we stay on and on, thinking that if we only try harder, we'll somehow be able to make the abuse stop. But we didn't cause someone else to be abusive. We can't fix it. Maybe the biggest thing wrong with us is thinking there's something wrong with us.
My name is ______________ and I am an ____________. I do not drink or use no matter what. I prioritize my sobriety above all else.
JUNE 18
CRAVINGS
Cravings generally arise out of chemical imbalances created by the use of addictive substances, nutritional deficiencies and excesses, illness, allergies and/or stress. We are more likely to crave sedative substances such as sugar or alcohol when we feel high or intense, and stimulants such as caffeine when we are tired or depressed.
Some alcoholics find that eating something sweet at least temporarily relieves their cravings for alcohol. Yet some nutritionists think that in the long run eating a diet high in refined sugar only helps to keep such cravings alive.
Of course, the first line of defense against reactivating a craving is continued abstinence from the addictive substance. Treatment for any underlying health problems can also help to reduce the intensity, frequency and duration of cravings. Meanwhile, sometimes the only way to handle a craving when it does occur is to wait it out.
My name is ______________ and I am an ____________. I do not drink or use no matter what. I prioritize my sobriety above all else.
OCTOBER 3
SELF-ESTEEM
Due to having been abused, neglected and/or abandoned as children, many of us alcoholic/addicts suffer from low self-esteem. But while the ways that we think and feel about ourselves today are rooted in how we were treated as children, they are not set in stone. We can increase our self-esteem by acting as if we already have it. Because the more that we treat ourselves a certain way, whether good or bad, the more that our subconscious will get the message that that's how we ought to be treated.
But our self-esteem is also influenced by how we treat others. Putting other people down to build ourselves up is kind of like drinking or using. It may make us feel better for awhile, but once the initial rush wears off, we invariably feel worse about ourselves than before. In turn, the worse that we feel about ourselves, the more compelled we may feel to ridicule, criticize or bully others, thus creating an ongoing, vicious cycle. Perhaps the solution is like the solution to our drinking/using problem too-total abstinence.
My name is ______________ and I am an ____________. I do not drink or use no matter what. I prioritize my sobriety above all else.
OCTOBER 27
BUTS
Excuses for not doing something productive are often expressed in the form of "but" statements. For example, "I really should affirm my sobriety priority, but . . . I'm too tired"; I'm just not in the mood," etc.
You could refute these "but" statements by using the But-Rebuttal Method described by Dr. David Burns in Feeling Good. Draw a line down the middle of a sheet of paper. Head the first column "But" and the second column "But Rebuttal." In the first column write down a "but" statement, such as, for example, "I really should affirm my sobriety priority, but I have too many other things to do today." In the second column write down a rebuttal to that statement, such as, for example, "It will only take a minute." If another "but" statement should come to mind, write that down in the first column. Continue arguing back and forth with yourself until you have completely run out of "buts."
Affirming your sobriety priority might often seem like a pain in the butt. But, then again, not doing so could hurt all over.
My name is ______________ and I am an ____________. I do not drink or use no matter what. I prioritize my sobriety above all else.